


Stage Fright

by GalahadWilder



Series: The Pop Star and the Superhero [1]
Category: Ultraman (Netflix), Ultraman - Fandom, ウルトラシリーズ | Ultra Series
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Season 1 Spoilers, Ultraman Season 1 Spoilers, Ultraman Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalahadWilder/pseuds/GalahadWilder
Summary: Every night, she sees the roof fall in again. Every night, it gets a little harder to remember that Ultraman already saved her.





	Stage Fright

The roof is falling in again. She can’t remember how she got here—she hasn’t been able to set foot on a stage or in an arena since the incident, not without her knees going weak and her heart going overdrive. But here she is, onstage again, and her fans are out in the crowd screaming. The ceiling cracks. Overhead lights fall. She knows Ultraman is coming, she knows he’s going to catch the falling heavens and lift them away like he always does—but he doesn’t. She’s in New York and Shinjiro is an ocean away—there’s no one to catch it. No one to save them.

The roof falls in on the audience, and she can only watch helplessly as they’re all crushed to death.

She wakes up screaming. It takes her a moment before she remembers it’s not real, that she hasn’t been in an arena since Japan, that only one person in the audience died, that the two Ultramen arrived in time to save everybody else. But her breathing won’t slow down, her heartbeat is still the loudest thing in her ears. She can still feel the alien’s blood splashed across her face—the first time she ever saw another sentient die, and he’d come there to protect her.

How many people died because of her?

Her father keeps telling her it’s not her fault. The alien had been an obsessive, murdering anyone who spoke ill of her online, but the guilt still eats away at her. The guilt of bringing all of those people together where the armored creature could drop the ceiling on them is... she’s not sure if it’s worse. Nobody died, sure, but they’re lucky. If Ultraman hadn’t just learned to fly...

She picks up her phone and checks the time. It’s the middle of the night in New York City, but in Japan, it’s mid-afternoon. Shinjiro is probably done with school for the day by now.

She barely thinks before calling him.

He picks up after two rings. “Rena?” he says. “It’s the middle of the night where you are—is everything all right?”

She’s crying into the speaker. “I—I had the... the nightmare again.”

He’s silent for a moment. “The stadium?”

”Mhmm.” She nods, not trusting her voice. She knows he can’t see her, but it doesn’t matter—he told her he salutes her text messages sometimes, before he remembers that he’s not sending video, so this is hardly the least embarrassing thing either of them has done. “Can you... stay on the line? For a few minutes?”

”Yeah,” he says. “No emergencies today. I’ve got time.”

They sit for a few minutes in companionable silence, and her heart rate finally begins to slow down. “How’s Rocket?” she says, finally.

She’s not supposed to know the names of any of the Ultramen, not even Shinjiro, but he wasn’t particularly good at hiding that. To keep him from accidentally spilling the identities of the others, they’ve agreed to call them by nicknames: Ultraman Blade and Ultraman Rocket. Rocket’s been out of commission for a few weeks, but Shinjiro won’t say why; something about a mission gone wrong. He was quick to assure her that everyone was fine but he’s definitely worried about his younger partner.

”I don’t know,” Shinjiro says. “I haven’t seen him since... you know, since the mansion. He’s in good hands though.”

Rena giggles. “You always say that.”

”Edo says we’ve got word he’s recovering,” Shinjiro says. “Can’t share the source, but...”

”I know.” She draws her leg up to her chest. “I heard you caught a building yesterday.”

”Small one,” he responds immediately, making her laugh. It’s so Shinjiro, to think that’s no big deal. “Only three floors.”

She smiles. She knew this was exactly what she needed. ”Still saved twelve people.”

”I... guess I did.” He sighs. “Your Agent still trying to get you to go back on tour?”

”Not very hard,” she says. “He knows I’m still a little delicate right now, so... no Sayama for a bit.”

”Delicate.” She can practically hear Shinjiro smirking. “The first time you met Ultraman you _called_ _me_ _out_ while I was holding up eighteen tons of ceiling. Onstage. In public.”

”In front of all your fans.”

”Those were very definitely your fans, they paid to see you.”

She smiles. “I might agree to share them.”

He scoffs. “But yeah, there I am in front of two Aliens that want me dead, I’m stuck holding up an entire arena ceiling, and all of a sudden this tiny pop star starts _yelling_ at me.”

”Cut me some slack!” she laughs. “I was terrified!”

”What, and I wasn’t?” he responds with a smile in his voice. “Before then I’d never lifted anything heavier than a car!”

They lapse into silence for a minute, long enough for Rena to realize that she’s calmed down entirely, before Shinjiro speaks again. “Dad’s healing up,” he says. “He says he’s thinking about getting back into the field.”

She chuckles at that. “I can’t picture Defense Minister Hayata putting on red armor and punching aliens.”

”Yeah, well, he used to do it in spandex. While 80 feet tall,” Shinjiro responds, dryly. “I watch videos of the old Ultraman sometimes and I just think, ‘I spawned from _that_?’”

They laugh together, before growing quiet. Rena yawns.

”I should probably let you go,” Shinjiro says.

”No, wait,” she says. “Um... I’m thinking of maybe coming back to Japan soon. Do you... want to get coffee? Maybe?”

He’s silent for a moment and she’s worried that he’s somehow offended. “...Oh! Um... sure! I’d love to!”

She smiles. _Oh my God, he’s such a dork._ “Not as Rena Sayama, you understand. You don’t want to get mobbed when you’re not in the helmet.”

”Oh! Yeah, of... of course,” he stammers. “That... yeah, that makes sense.”

”Just Rena Endo and Shinjiro Hayata, two normal teenagers,” she finishes. “Having coffee together.”

”Um... about that,” he says. “Might want to find a better disguise than glasses and a hat.”

”Not all of us can wear carbide helmets to hide our identities.”

”You do realize I saw through your ‘normal teen’ disguise immediately.”

She giggles. “I’m sure my agent will think of something,” she says, then yawns again. “You’re probably right,” she murmurs. “I should get back to sleep.”

”Night, Rena,” Shinjiro says. Soft. His voice is so soft.

”Night, Shinjiro.” She ends the call and places her phone gently on the nightstand.

Normal teenagers. Right. She’s never had that in her life. Over here in New York, she may just be Rena Endo, average teen, but in Japan no matter where she goes she’s Rena Sayama, pop idol. “Normal” isn’t exactly in her vocabulary.

Besides, she muses as she sinks back into her pillow, what’s normal when you’re in love with a boy who can fly?


End file.
